Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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