I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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