I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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