how can u be prego again
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
