Having a random hookup so left but love u
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
