He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
