Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize