a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
