what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
