you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
