But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
