What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
