my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
