you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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