I'm jealous of your bromance
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I checked into jail on foursquare
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
