At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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