Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
