i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize