I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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