$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
