I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
