u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
