dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
