jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
