so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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