this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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