I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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