so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you win again, gameday.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Someone shattered a urinal.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
