And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
