My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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