You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
even my farts smell like vagina
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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