That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
why is half of my head shaved?
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