I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
