Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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