this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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