i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Less talking, more tequila
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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