So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
