he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
