Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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