ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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