Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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