Already got asked if we're dating
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
