She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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