I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
