walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
What a dumb baby whore.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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