you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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