all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
