Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
