do herpes really smell.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize