Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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