Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
