I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
