I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
