sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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