I hate all girls vehemently.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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