That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
