I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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