I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
