I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
