Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
