Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
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