it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
