My hand turned me down
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
