I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
